Imagine a space where you can voice your thoughts without fear of judgment, where every conversation is an opportunity to grow and learn. That's the power of coaching. Empathy often takes center stage in inclusive leadership coaching, allowing us to slow down and open ourselves to new perspectives.
Here’s a story from a recent client interaction, edited for privacy:
Tyler had been participating in coaching for a few months to work toward embedding a DEI mindset into his day-to-day work. One day in a coaching conversation, he wondered aloud whether the company should “sacrifice quality in favor of diversity.”
It’s an idea we often hear, both from people who believe in the power of diversity and from people who are using the argument to attack DEI efforts. It was clear that Tyler was part of the former because he had shared how deeply he cares about improving diversity. His facial expression showed that it was difficult for him to share this wondering. But that’s the power of a coaching space — you can say what’s on your mind without judgment so that you can work through it together instead of pushing it to the back burner without examination.
I asked him, “How might that play out?”
He responded, “It might be hard for a while, but ultimately increasing diversity would make it worth it.”
I paused there, recognizing that he had identified the path to the outcome he wanted, but there were always more possibilities. I asked, “How else might it play out?”
He laughed a little and said, “The managers might just get frustrated and fire them.”
I nodded and asked, “Have you ever been hired for a job you were unqualified for?”
Without missing a beat, he said, “Yes, it was awful! I would come into work every day so confused about what I was supposed to be doing and afraid of making a mistake. Even though my manager expressed support, I couldn’t help feeling he knew I couldn't do the work and it felt like I was constantly letting him down. I left after 3 months.”
We both paused while he processed. After a few seconds, he said, “Oh, I see it now.”
Tyler reached his own conclusion. As a coach, I simply opened the door for other perspectives, allowing Tyler to see the situation not as a straightforward path but as a complex network of choices and outcomes. From this new vantage point, Tyler can identify new strategies and not get stuck in old patterns of assumption.
Through active listening, open-ended questions, and a genuine desire to understand, we can create a space where individuals feel safe to explore their thoughts, challenge their beliefs, and ultimately uncover their truths. As coaches, let us continue to foster these empathetic spaces where every conversation is a step toward a more inclusive and understanding world.
Whether or not you're a formal coach, engaging in discussions with a coaching mindset — prioritizing understanding over imposing solutions — builds trust and lasting change. Tyler's story is a testament to empathy's power in untangling complex issues and fostering personal growth and development.
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